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What I've Learned From Public Speaking
- alexibush3
- Feb 12
- 3 min read
Seven years ago, as a junior in high school, I stepped onto a stage and shared my story for the first time. Since then, I’ve spoken to over 16,000 people across the U.S. — from middle schoolers and high school students to college groups, corporate teams, nonprofit volunteers, and the general public. No matter the audience, one thing has remained the same: the deep, personal connections that come from sharing my experiences.
In my presentations, I open up about how my dad’s struggle with alcohol addiction ultimately led to his death by suicide when I was 16. I also talk about the heartbreak of losing three friends to suicide within a year and a half of losing my dad, as well as my own experiences with PTSD and ADHD. I’ve never sugarcoated anything — I share my story honestly and directly. Because of that, people often feel comfortable opening up to me in return. They tell me about their own losses, struggles, and anxieties. While these conversations can be incredibly heavy and sometimes draining, they also remind me why I do this work. I don’t want anyone else to experience the pain that addiction, suicide, or mental illness has brought into my life.
Over the years, I’ve had hundreds of in-person conversations and received countless online messages from people who can relate to my story in some way. Some have lost loved ones to suicide. Others have family members experiencing addiction. Many have been diagnosed with mental health conditions or have had suicidal thoughts themselves. These interactions have shown me just how many lives these topics impact. And it’s not just personal anecdotes that confirm this — data backs it up. The numbers behind the mental health crisis in this country are staggering, as you can see in the graphics below. The statistics are heartbreaking, but they also demonstrate the urgency of these conversations. I truly believe that by sharing our stories, we confront the stigma surrounding these topics and help create a culture where people feel empowered to seek support rather than shame.
Another powerful lesson I’ve learned through public speaking and these personal interactions is the importance of taking the time to ask and care. At the end of the day, you never really know what someone is going through. We all move through life with our struggles concealed because society tells us to keep it together and not air our “dirty laundry.” While this doesn’t excuse poor behavior, it offers some insight and understanding of how a person’s actions often stem from deeper pain and personal struggles. And more often than not, the people who seem the happiest and most outgoing struggle the most inside. That’s why it’s so important to check in on the people you love. Even a two-sentence text can go a long, long way. Sometimes, people just need a reminder that they’re not alone, that someone cares, and that their presence matters. In the end, everyone fights their own battles each day, and the best thing we can do for each other is lead with compassion and understanding.
Above all, this work has shown me the power of finding — or creating — something positive in even the darkest moments. Since my very first presentation, I’ve lived by the motto: You can’t always control what happens in life, but you can control how you respond to those challenges. Sharing my story and immersing myself in this work has not only helped me heal but also given me the space to process and acknowledge my past and losses. Learning about mental illness, addiction, and suicide has deepened my understanding of my own childhood and trauma, allowing me to find clarity and make peace with my experiences. Most of all, public speaking has brought light to tragedy. Yes, I’ve endured pain and grief, but now I see that it wasn’t all for nothing. Something meaningful has come from those hardships — a sense of purpose, a way to help others, and a reminder that even in great loss, there can be light.
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